Breathe With Me
by azure feathers
Summary: The past and the future didn't make any difference; they were surrounded by happiness right then, and that was all that mattered. T for one swear


Breathe With Me

**For Ankyo Dev. We agreed on something sappy for a lemon, lol.  
Sorry, this sounded better in my head! xD  
**

...

"Where are we going?" Lelouch asked Suzaku, frowning at the cloth that covered his eyes. It was itchy and kind of rough- the only thing Suzaku had had to use as a blindfold was his tie, and it was less than comfortable.

"You'll see," Suzaku said for the millionth time, tugging Lelouch along by his sleeve. The dictator looked decidedly un-dictatory, he thought, his mouth set in a childlike pout, complaining about being kidnapped and pretend-threatening that he'd call his guards on Suzaku. Which was, of course, the best part, seeing as Suzaku was more or less the man in charge when it came to Lelouch's security.

Lelouch tried to get a grip on his surroundings by concentrating on the ground; it was hard, definitely, and bumpy. It made a soft crunching sound with every step. In the background he could hear birds twittering and trees shaking in the breeze. He wanted to say it was familiar, but the things he could glean seemed so generic that he dismissed the feeling.

"Are we almost there, Suzaku? I don't want to miss lunch."

"You'll want to when we get there."

Lelouch sighed.

He allowed himself to be dragged along for a few more minutes, distracted by the challenge of figuring out his location. The gurgle of a stream came into earshot and, just as Lelouch felt a name creeping on the tip of his tongue, he crashed into Suzaku.

"We're here," Suzaku said quietly, just in case Lelouch hadn't figured that out from the abrupt stop. Long fingers tangled themselves in his hair and undid the knot on the tie; when the fingers pulled the tie away, Lelouch's eyes found themselves basking in blessed freedom.

"It's too bright. I can't see- _oh."_

Lelouch and Suzaku were standing in a large, flowery clearing. A substantial stream ran down the middle, which accounted for the gurgling he'd heard. On one side there was a cliff, and in that cliff a tiny hollow just wide enough for two little boys and a disabled girl.

Lelouch made a strangled sound in his throat and stumbled over to the hollow, pressing a palm against the rock to make sure it was real.

"It's still here," he said dreamily, as if in a daze. He slid down the rock wall and landed on the ground with a _thump, _and behind his eyes Suzaku could almost see what was running through his mind. He knew because the same thing was happening in his own.

He sat down beside Lelouch and succumbed to the memories that threatened to take over his brain. This was the site of the best days of their lives, when they were still innocent kids untroubled by the things around them- of course, that really wasn't true at all, but Suzaku and Lelouch liked to pretend there was a time like that.

He remembered the first time he and Lelouch had gone to the hollow; it was summer, and Lelouch was complaining about nature as he usually did. He was still the spoiled prince back then, and he just didn't get how beautiful everything was yet.

Suzaku had waggled his tongue and told his not-quite-friend-yet that there was a place even a spoiled prince could love. Lelouch, unable to resist a challenge, dared Suzaku to take him there.

He loved it, naturally (though he didn't like to say so), and from then on they'd visited the hollow almost every day. Suzaku taught Lelouch to fish there. It took weeks, but when Lelouch finally caught his first fish Suzaku thought his face would split for the giant grin he wore.

Then there was the time the cherry blossoms were in bloom and the entire meadow was carpeted in pink. The petals were so thick that one could have played hide-and-seek in them, and Lelouch scooped up handfuls and handfuls and arranged them in Nunnally's hair and Suzaku brought some pebbles from the stream and put them in the centers of some of the blossoms like little pearls. Nunnally smiled like it was the last smile she'd ever get, even though she had no way of seeing how she looked.

Suzaku sighed. Had they really been happy like that once? It seemed like some other life, as if he was a visitor on someone else's happy childhood.

"I thought you might need this," Suzaku said into the silence, opening his eyes and looking out on the river. Being the ruler of the world was tiring, and the bags beneath Lelouch's eyes were terrifying. As for Suzaku, well, he just didn't look in the mirror anymore.

"I did." Lelouch opened his eyes too. "Remember how we used to lay down on the riverbank and look up at the clouds and point out funny shapes?" His voice cracked.

"You saw one and you frowned and you pointed at it and said 'Is that a beard?' like it was the worst thing in the world for a cloud to be, and then you picked up a stick and hooked it around my ear and found another one for my other ear and wove blades of grass together and made a beard for me and we kept making it longer until it touched the floor when I was sitting down. But then the end got caught on a button on my sleeve and the whole thing came apart and there was grass everywhere, and we couldn't stop laughing. I remember." Suzaku chuckled.

They were silent for a minute, and Lelouch knew what was going to happen next. Whenever Suzaku was silent like that, he knew exactly what was coming. And yet each time, he couldn't prepare himself for it.

"Are you really going to go through with it?" The question sat in the air, pressing on their chests.

"I have to."

Suzaku wanted to say something like "why don't we just run away?" or "no, you don't" or "just _pretend"_, but none of those excuses worked for either of them. Sure, they'd thought about them a million times, but there were too many things wrong with getting away like that. Lelouch had to die, and there was no getting around it. That there was nothing Suzaku could do was the worst part. Even worse than being the one to do the deed was the fact that there really was no other way, that they were backed into a corner; they only way they could be happy was to free the world of Lelouch's existence. How cruel was that?

Lelouch's hand crept into Suzaku's. Ten fingers locked together, thumb, index, middle, ring, pinky, one set belonging to a Brittanian Prince and the other to the son of a Prime Minister. One to a dictator that ruled by terror and the other to his ever-loyal knight. Did it matter what stature the owners of those fingers were?

Of course it didn't; it never had. From the beginning they drew no boundaries, though their temperaments certainly differed. It didn't matter who they were or who they used to be. All that mattered was that they were friends and they were having fun together, like friends should. The same was true of that day. It didn't matter what had happened in the past or what would happen in the future. It didn't matter that Suzaku's best friend was going to die. It didn't matter that he had to kill him. Because they were in that clearing, they existed_, _they breathed, they were vibrant and alive for that one moment and to _hell _with everything else. Nothing would spoil their little bubble of happy, no matter what was going on outside. They were stronger than that.

Lelouch's body crumpled inward a little bit, like he was deflating. Something cold and wet hit Suzaku's hand, followed by another drop and another. He was letting out the tears he was supposed to shed when he was going to die. He couldn't look weak in front of the populace. That just wasn't allowed.

Suzaku leaned toward Lelouch and cradled his friend's head between his chin and his collarbone, shielding him from the harshness of their world.

"It's going to be okay, Lelouch. I promise."

He smiled. For once, he truly believed himself.


End file.
